Dreaming In Books

There are time periods that always seem to scream of a loss of inspiration.

Hours.

Days.

Weeks.

Months.

...

Years.

Let's face it: blogging requires inspiration.  Writing of any form requires inspiration to some extent until you can teach yourself otherwise.  I don't exactly have any deadlines right now, and self-imposing them never does much for me unless I can really lock myself into the habit (and even that doesn't always pan out).  It's safe to say that my inspiration for a lot of media has left the building.

Sure, I've been reading books and enjoying a lot of them lately.  I've been writing the occasional blog post and saying, "Oh, I'll write more and start having regular posts again."

Cue me patting myself on the back a few days later saying, "It's okay.  Try again next week."

Repeat.  So now I have several reviews ready to go in my blog feeder, yet I haven't felt ready yet to commit to posting every day or nearly every day again. 

Until I had to post a review Friday and decided, "Screw this.  You need to get your head back into the field."

These are the moments I live for, readers.  The past week or two has been one long stream of mounting stress and anxiety due to the realization that summer is not a free-for-all anymore.  17 is not 15 is not 7.  I can no longer just lounge around every day and let the days blend together.  Sure, I can do that frequently and enjoy it, but being productive leads to future summers being more like the early ones - and that's what counts, right?

Two weeks have also provided me with some new perspectives.  It's the small things that add up to the big things, I find.

I started playing video games several days a week now.  Just an hour or two on the days that I can get myself to sit down and relax with them.  You have no idea how awesome it is to sit down with a game that will take 10 - 30 - 80 hours to complete (I play a lot of Japanese role playing games like Final Fantasy - or Pokemon - so the length can be out there).  Seeing those storylines in action, ever epic and all-encompassing, and how the video games invest the reader with quirky characters, gameplay, and a well-built world reminded me of why I love to play them.

This led me to remembering what I liked about writing blog posts and fiction.  In my driver's ed course (which is just being taken for insurance purposes), I have a lot of free time since I know most of the information.  What do I do?  I write a few paragraphs of my WIP and slowly get myself into the habit, reminding myself that I love the idea and the world.

So then I get led back to my blog.  On Thursday I wrote an entire review in one day.  My reviews clock 1,000 - 2,000 words, so it was a great realization to know that I could get myself inspired to finish one every day.  That's 1,000 - 2,000 words of new material that reminds my mind of the good things.  The things I care about.

What does this all mean?  That I will continue to try to get back on track.  That one of these personal posts will show up every week if I can manage it.  That I finally feel like I'm gaining some much needed balance after all of the change I've been trying to put into my life.

It feels good.

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